Open the eyes of my heart Lord

Well as a storyteller I’m slacking pretty bad aren’t I?

It’s been a CRAZY 2 weeks filled with lots of humbling moments, glorious silences, and growth opportunities. If I’m being completely honest I can’t even remember that far back so I’m currently using my journal to jog my memory! 🙂 I can’t say it enough – I consider myself BLESSED to be here. What a unique opportunity it has been to experience God in such a new space and way that I understand I will never experience Him in the States.

It’s rainy season here in Nicaragua and my Idaho mind thought “okay a little drizzle will be a nice way to cool down”. Oh how I was SO wrong. We received 2 feet of rain the first night and another foot the next day which caused significant flooding in many of the homes in the town closest to us. One of the lovely kitchen ladies told us she had to walk through knee deep water to get out of her house. While this was absolutely heartbreaking and stunning to hear, it opened up a different kind of ministry opportunity for us. We set out early in the day to start helping clean the streets, salvage what we could in homes, and love on those who would receive it. I can confidently say we went in thinking we would be taking care of them when in all reality they took care of us. While we cleaned the homes and the streets they gave us their very own resources to make sure we were welcomed and they were hospitable. I’ve QUICKLY learned that hospitality is a very significant part of their culture and I feel as though I’ve gotten to experience it to the fullest. I was in complete and utter awe that these people, in the midst of disaster, provided whatever they could for us. In addition to this, they were joy FILLED. While a lot of their own things had been destroyed or taken by the water they were still joyful. That’s the kind of joy I want. Unwavering, non-reliant, pure, joy.

Another highlight of my time so far has been fasting. My team and I, in all different variations, fasted for three days. I’ve fasted before so I wasn’t too concerned, however, I have never fasted the way that I did this time. I was a little nervous going into it and didn’t know how my body would respond, but it was only three days, right? IT WAS HARD. If I’m being honest too, in the first day and a half I felt almost more distant from God than I did when I HAD the things I was fasting. I was frustrated with myself and felt incredibly guilty for not being able to sit contently in the presence of my Father. My mind was so consumed by how my body felt and what ifs that I found it incredibly challenging to be in the word or time of prayer. This is, however, exactly what God had had in mind for my time with Him. Halfway through the second day I found the strength to sit and read in Luke and spend some time talking to Him – even if it was forced at first. I was immediately flooded with a sense of grace both from God and myself. He doesn’t expect perfection from me. He doesn’t expect my fast to look or feel the same as everyone else’s. All of that would pale in comparison to the greater desire He has just to be with me and meet me where I am. It is His heart to be with me and that’s it.

I’ve learned so many lessons here and now know so much more about the Father’s love for us that one day I would LOVE to share with anyone and everyone who will listen. While my time here has not been exactly what it appeared to be on paper, it has stretched my understanding and looks perfect through my eyes.

I’m so grateful for your continuous prayers – God has wrapped them around me like a blanket and I can feel each one with every day I’m gone.

I love and miss you all BIG! I sure am going to try my darnedest to be a more timely little storyteller next week too 😉

Yours truly,

Emma 🙂